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Florida, baby

Well, right now I'm sitting in some sort of internet cafe thing in the middle of Orlando, and I have just been told that this will be one of the only times that I will be near the internet for the next 2 weeks. So, to all you loving fans of The Interrobang, please just sit tight, go through the archives to get your fix, and I'll be back in 2 weeks with some pretty sweet pictures . . . and perhaps a latin girlfriend.

Less than a god, but more than a man

"Hello all you Evil Dead loving Mormons!" Bruce's words rang across the theatre and were followed by an enormous applause. From the back, someone yelled out, "But I'm Catholic!" "Ah, so you're the one," was Bruce's reply.

Yes, as most of you already know, last night was the special screening/book signing featuring Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell. Now, normally, I'm not one to gush, but holy cow, it was awesome! As can be told by the aforementioned comments (as well as a few that will follow), Bruce is a very funny guy. The natural kind of funny. Which explains why he does such a good job in all his movies. That's also why he was able to say on-the-fly lines such as:

-"'Are we going to make an Evil Dead IV?' . . . . . . . . . Sorry, I hesitate because I've never been asked that question before. Yeah, we can make it. Just call Sam Raimi up and tell him to stop making Spider-man 3. I'm sure he'll have no problem."
-"Cameo? I would stay away from that word. My roles in Spider-man 1 and 2 were more than cameos. 'Pivotal' is the word I like to use. Think about it. In Spider-man 1, my character named Spider-man. And in Spider-man 2, my character was the only one who defeated Spider-man. Think about that."
-And my personal favorite (in response to a question regarding the "cheesiness" of the movie poster and perhaps the movie itself):
"Cheesy?! Does this movie look cheesy to you?! I'll have you know that this movie cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to make!!"

I must say, however, that the highlight of the night came when I got to speak with the man himself during the book signing. The conversation went as follows:

Me - "Hey Bruce."
Bruce - "Hey, how you doin'?"
M - "Not too bad, thanks."
B - "Are you Adam?" [To streamline the signing, everybody had their names on post-its.]
M - "Yes I am."
B - "What do you do, Adam?"
M - "I'm a screenwriter, actually."
B - "I pity you." [Said with a smile, of course.]
M - "Oh?"
B - "Be original. You know, there's so much crap that is just copied from everything else and people stealing each other's stuff."
M - "Yeah."
B - "Make them steal your stuff; isn't that the idea?"
M - "Well, that's what I'm trying to do."
B - "No. Don't try. Do."

And, though it may sound lame, that's exactly what I am going to do.

I'm back!!!

The zombie movie shoot was a success! And nobody was hurt . . . except for the zombies, of course. Now we have the painstaking process of editing, but we're getting there. I'm so stoked.

However, does anyone want to explain something to me? For the past little while, I've been building up a theory that Utah County drivers are the most retarded drivers in the world. This theory developed because every time I tried to go to Salt Lake, there was traffic. And it wasn't even traffic because of accidents or anything. It was just plain, simple, stupid driving. Last night, however, took the proverbial cake.

It was midnight (yes, 12:00 am) and I was stopped (yes, not moving) on the freeway. Now, stand-still freeway traffic is never excusable. It is understandable at times (like rush hour and whatnot). But midnight!? Re-freaking-diculous. That is wholly inappropriate (much like Batman's relationship with Robin). That's it: time to instigate the Utopian driving plan.

1) Nobody under the age of 21 can drive, and when they turn 21, they have to have a 1 year evaluation of their driving before they get an official license.
2) No cell phones allowed to be turned on in the car (like a hospital ward).
3) There is a special lane designated for people who exercise elite driving skills. We're talking only like 3% of the driving population are gonna get in. That way, others don't have to suffer at the hands of the inept.
4) If someone causes an accident, they are fined $1 for every car whose trip they deter by more than 5 minutes. That way, people will think twice before causing 15-mile-long traffic jams at midnight.

Ok, my rant is done. Oh, and by the way, my sister had her twins yesterday. Adison and Tate Kjar. Absolutely adorable.

Pardon the interruption, but . . .

HOLY CRAP!!! Allow me to give my most sincere and humble apologies to all the die hard fans of The Interrobang. The past week has been full with zombie movie preparation. In fact, as we speak (though we're not speaking, but you get the idea), I am supposed to be packing so we can head up and start preparing for tomorrow and Saturday. Yes, this is me bailing out again and saying that for the next few days, there won't be anything new. I'm so so so so so sorry.

Allow me to leave you with a joke. A grasshopper walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, you know we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper looks at him and says, "No way! You have a drink named Steve?"

Pointless day

Today has been (quite possibly) the most pointless day in history. Or, the history of me, at least. I woke up late (having stayed up 'til very late finishing the script for the zombie movie) and had to hurry to take job applications to a few places. The first place I went to gave me the line, "Well, the job opening closes in a little over a month, so I'll let you know then." Gee, thanks. That helps. Not being discouraged, I went to the second place only to find out the position was filled months ago, but they never bothered to take the job posting down.

Holding my head high, I went to work, only to find out that I was flying solo today with not much to do. You know what that means: filing . . . all day. So, after an invigorating four hours, I went home, ate some dinner, then fell asleep on the living room floor. I just woke up not too long ago and decided to bore you all with the details as to how lame my day was.

Sorry. Tomorrow's'll be better. I promise.

Fun with words

I know I just had an entry on the little idiocincrisies that the English language has, but I've discovered something. (Actually, as in most cases, this time I've just "re-realized" something . . . I discovered it quite some time ago, but it was brought to my attention today.) I think that people need to make better use of the loopholes the English language has. Two of my personal favorites are opposite prefixes and adjective/noun switchage.

Opposite Prefixes:
What I mean by this is that we have a lot of prefixes at our disposal. And more often than not, said prefixes have an opposite. This opposite, however, is rarely used. And that's quite a shame, too, because there are tons of cool (real) words just waiting to be said. Words like "subterfluous", "extrospective", "postmonition", and even "enmember" are all just itchin' to be used, but aren't. C'est la vie.

Adjective/Noun Switchage:
This is where you take a noun and figure out the adjective form of it, and visa versa. For example, how would you describe something with cowlike features? "Cowy"? Or what would you call a manifestation of something that is funny? "Funnyness"? Now, of course, those are just plain silly. However, there are quite a few that are not, such as "defectivity", "serendipitous", "frigidity", and my favorite, "plethoric".

Oh, and just so you all know, the word of the day is "dictatrix": the female version of "dictator". Sweet.